Le Monde - A whole world of tasteless, cold, badly cooked food

Well the title of the post says it all really. But before I begin, can I just say that despite the food I did have a good night out - due in no small measure to some excellent company.

Le Monde is, and I quote from the website, "one of the premier boutique hotels in Edinburgh. Its popularity and reputation continues to grow." Really?

We met in the bar, Vienna. I have to admit I was pleasantly surprised - the clientèle were mixed - pensioners, teenagers and a whole range in between. The bar itself was very nice. A good start. Then we went upstairs to "Paris" for dinner ...

Atmosphere

Styled as "an intimate space for romantic liaisons" (I wasn't there on a romantic liaison) I expected something subtle. Instead we (not me ...!) had to ask for the music to be turned down so we didn't have to shout to one another. I was also a bit put off by people dancing when we were eating - I know, I know: I'm old (fashioned) - a restaurant should just be a restaurant ... No?

And then, as I move a water glass away it sticks to my hand - yuck! New glass requested immediately ... I am left feeling a little bit queasy. I suspect we are not the "restaurant's" favourite table.

Food

I can safely say that this is one of the worst dining experiences I have ever had!

To start: I chose the ham terrine with apple chutney and rye bread. Or to put it another way - a completely tasteless terrine with an identical (non) tasting chutney. At least the toasted rye bread had some flavour to it. There was no salt and pepper on the table either, so I couldn't try to improve it. The textures of the food were different but that's really about all I can say. I would love to admit I was exaggerating here but no - I have never eaten anything before that tastes of nothing. So to get two on the same plate ... well it certainly was an achievement.

We also had mussels, scallops and bruschetta. The most interesting comment passed was that the sauce with the mussels was hot. I said nothing, as did most others ...

For the main: there was a mix up - one person ordered a rib-eye with no tomato, 2 others ordered rare sirloin. The rib-eye came with a tomato, one of the sirloins without ... confusion reigns as I point out that a rib eye is clearly different from a sirloin and that I have the wrong dish - I was happy to swap. No that would not do. The dishes must be taken back to the kitchen because neither of the two waiters knew their rib-eye from their &!*!. Sure enough, a few minutes later, back came the plates with the tomato switched. Apparently I was correct.

So, rare steak should be (more than) a bit bloody, right?? If we peered intently at it we could just about detect a hint of pink. Our rare steaks came medium to well done. If they had been cooked as ordered they would have been very good - the quality of the steak only ruined by the incompetence of the chef. And then the temperature: the steak was cold, the chips that came with it even colder. The mushroom was quite nice (but then it's difficult to screw up a grilled mushroom). I kind of felt obliged to eat the (half green) tomato.

Lamb shanks were also ordered. I was too afraid to ask anyone what they thought, and I suspect everyone else felt the same as we talked about everything but the food.

I skipped dessert and instead chose a large espresso: it was excellent.

The Bill

So we ask for the bill. As we divvy it up, someone mentions a tip. "Have they included a service charge?" someone else asks? Yes they have: so we get a bill with a service charge included plus a space for a tip. Cheap trick? We didn't leave any extra.

Overall Rating

It's not a restaurant. A restaurant should serve good food. A restaurant should not be dominated by a huge bar - reference Harvey Nichols Forth Floor for how it could be done. You should not have to shout in a restaurant. A restaurant should not boast of the quality of its steak and yet be unable to tell the difference between cuts, or be able to cook it correctly. This was a truly terrible dining experience. Burger King is far better - at least you get what you expect there. And I have to say the food is a damned site tastier.

If only 1 person reads this and decides not to go, my work is done. This was a huge letdown.

The Champany Inn: Restaurant with Rooms

For our wedding anniversary this year we decided to go to the Champany Inn for a meal. We had visited the Chop and Ale house last year and vowed at the time to come back to the restaurant. With an eye for the bargain (and in the hope of offsetting some of the cost of the wine!) we plumped for a summer offer - Dinner Bed and Breakfast for £170. This did limit us to the quick supper menu, rather than the full menu, but the range of food looked excellent so we were more than happy to compromise.

Accommodation

It's not an hotel, it's a restaurant with rooms. But I have to say that the rooms were excellent. At what was effectively £90 for bed and breakfast, the price wasn't all that bad either. Facilities included free-view TV, wireless internet, a large super-king bed, and a spacious bathroom (even if the bathroom décor and design was somewhat dated). A very good room indeed.

Wine List

When we decide where to go for a meal, more often than not the choice is governed by how good the wine list is - if it's bad, we probably won't be going ...

The Champany wine list seemed to me to be larger than the Witchery list, which in itself is an accomplishment. But, of course, size isn't everything: the content was equally as good. As usual we found ourselves drawn to the Burgundy, something we don't drink much of at home, but instead settled on a 2001 Delas Hermitage Les Bessards which was stunning: hints of woodsmoke on the nose, red fruits on the palette and complex yet smooth.

Food

Never before have I been offered chorizo bread, or pesto bread - and those were only a small selection of what was available. An excellent and unusual start to the meal.

The Quick Supper Menu had a small but good range. We enjoyed perfect chicken liver pate and brioche, and a Stilton salad for starters. The pot roast was oxtail, but we both chose the sirloin - a large (8oz?) steak on the bone, served perfectly with freshly made chips and the largest array of vegetables I have ever been served in a restaurant: French beans, baby leeks, baby carrots, asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower. All of these were very al dente, which wasn't to my personal taste, but very nice.

Thoroughly full, we finished the wine, and looked at the desserts. In due course waffles arrived, with a delicate maple syrup, and crème brûlée - the latter came, surprisingly, with a pot of ice cream. Whilst nice, it seemed to me like 2 separate desserts rather than 1, and that was the way I ate them. An odd way to serve the pudding.

Breakfast

Breakfast is served in a country style kitchen. I found it slightly off-putting to have the food cooked in the same room, in an open-plan layout, but apart from that it was very good. A choice of fruit juice, cereal, yoghurts etc, and a full Scottish breakfast. We were not overly keen on the sausage (beef) - excellent quality but I think we are traditionalist pork sausage people (you learn somehting new every day). There were more mushrooms than I have ever seen in my life (a plus for me), well cooked eggs, tasty bacon, black pudding and tomatoes. Not a baked bean in sight (!).

Overall Rating

A great evening with very good food. In terms of value for money this was excellent. Was it Michelin star dining? For me the food was slightly below that standard, but we were just having the Quick Supper. The whole experience, however, was certainly up there with the best: the waiting staff, and owners, were attentive and knowledgeable; the sommelier was very helpful in narrowing our choice down from an excellent list; the dining room itself had a very relaxed and intimate atmosphere.

The only downside was that we forgot to check when the wine shop opened. Assuming it opened at 10am in line with licensing laws, and planning a visit after we checked out, we were disappointed to find out it opened at 12pm. Never mind, at least our wallets are a bit less empty than they might otherwise have been.

Go to the Champany Inn at least once in your life. If you don't mind spending £40 on a steak, opt for the full menu: you get a much greater range of steaks to choose from. But the Quick Supper menu offers a great choice and a 3 course meal for the same price - if you like the contents, as we did, it's an excellent option. Either way I am sure you will have a fantastic time.

This could be our last meal out in Scotland for the 2009. The next reviews may be of restaurants and wine slightly further afield ...

Next up in this country, we have 21212 in January - I'm looking forward to it already :-)

Plumed Horse - Best Restaurant in Scotland?

Leith Michelin starred restaurant The Plumed Horse has just been named AA Scottish Restaurant of the Year 2009-2010. You can see the full results from Monday's award ceremony here.

Is it the best restaurant in Scotland? You tell me, as I've not been (yet) although it is creeping higher up my list and we nearly went there last night. Instead we ended up at the Champany Inn - review to follow shortly.

Another winner was The Cross at Kingussie, which got the gong for best wine list - I think this has also just made it onto our 'must go to' list.